Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

IDEAS WORTH SHARING
Every once in a while, we all experience something so wonderful that it becomes really hard not to share.

Well, for a while, I have been reading a most wonderful document. Yeah, it is really short (only 23 pages). It’s quite a deep piece, trust you me.

It is a report by Foundation for Entrepreneurial Excellence. A note titled Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

INTRODUCTION

This note is designed to help you rise above your instincts and urges to begin a search for the life you were meant to live. Once you have abandoned a foolish quest for the ephemeral rewards of happiness, wealth and power, you can begin to look for your true calling on this earth – a Hero’s Journey. To do this, you must first learn to lose yourself.

CONTENTS
The following are discussed:

• Understanding the Difference between Happiness, Satisfaction and Fulfillment
• Pursuing Sensual Pleasures and Material Success for the Wrong Reasons
• A Twisted Sense of Perspective: Misjudging the Present’s Impact on the Future
• Sliding From Self Interest to Self Centeredness to Self Delusion
• Losing Yourself in a Hero’s Journey
• Spirituality: Losing Yourself Through a Connection with the Transcendental
• Getting Started on Your Quest

A little deeper into the note, you find the following piece, that underscores our need for others.

Love: Losing Yourself in Relationship

Long-term studies of satisfaction and fulfillment show that relationships are critical to satisfaction and fulfillment. We live in relationship with others and we need to belong. We need others to complete us.

People who place a high priority in caring for others have more fulfilling lives. “There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate and lifelong companionship with one’s best friend.” Long-term studies on aging show that a lack of true friends would be one’s biggest crisis later in life. People get depressed when they are alone too long. They revive when with others.

Much of your long-term satisfaction and fulfillment will come from a relatively small group of family members and friends with whom we create the memories of a lifetime. Developing such relationships takes time, energy and courage.
You start with small steps. Beginning a relationship simply requires a little curiosity about others. Relationships grow by give and take. You ask about the other person’s goals, affirm them, and offer to help in some way. (Starting with people who have compatible goals makes it easier to invest attention).

Then something magical happens. You actually become more interested in others than yourself. You forget your own problems. Horizons open. Perspective broadens.

Favors, attention and self disclosure lead to trust. Obligations and constraints add more structure and meaning to life. You learn that giving is more satisfying than getting. Over time, a web of healthy relationships blossoms into a support system. Then you develop a reputation for helping others, a fragile treasure. Extraordinary opportunities follow.

Consciously choosing who to invest in relationships with makes a difference. Want to be a better person? Surround yourself with good people. Close friends have the most positive effect on fulfillment (families have only an average effect). Develop relationships with all ages. Always have friends from three generations: the generation below to add freshness and energy, your generation for understanding and companionship, and a generation older for perspective and wisdom.

SHARING
Download this report in full (23 pages, PDF 170KB) here.
I very strongly believe in learning and sharing useful information. This report is highly recommended.

Learn, share and achieve true Happiness, Satisfaction and Fulfillment in life.

Filed under: Self Discovery, choice, human nature, Insight, Learning, life, Progress, Self Discovery, Sharing, the bigger picture

A Laugh is Worth a Hundred Groans in Any Market – Lighten Up!

The year was 1996. I was in High School. All was not well. I had quite many problems and was nearly depressed. I’ll spare you the poignant details, let’s just say it was really bad at the time.

But then I shared. And a friend wrote me the note below, that did wonders and totally changed the way I handle most things in life.
I now know this “Lighten Up” note word for word, and it always works in my life. Hope you find it useful.

R U Still Down? Well, Lighten Up.

A LAUGH IS WORTH A HUNDRED GROANS IN ANY MARKET

As we become honest with ourselves, we can begin to see that we take most things in life too seriously. We view our jobs, our status, our possessions large and small – even life’s little mishaps with far more seriousness than they deserve. The heart of the matter, of course, is that we tend to take ourselves too seriously.

While it’s true many things need our serious attention, that doesn’t mean we have to go about straight-faced and tight-lipped in all areas of our lives. When we are excessively concerned, we limit our ability to have fun, to be relaxed and happy – in short, enjoy life.

If we find ourselves taking everything too seriously – if we see that we’re trying to manage things beyond our control – it’s time we reorder our priorities asking ourselves, “What is really important?”

Perhaps then we can remember that we have a choice to either burden ourselves by viewing everything as ‘serious’ and therefore, probably negative, or to strive for a positive outlook, with the goal of enjoying life a day at a time as it unfolds.

Lighten Up!

This is for you who is going through a hard time. At a time when the outcome of some predicaments is most in doubt, it pays to lighten up, praying and hoping that all goes well. Because it almost invariably ends well.

Learn, share, and have that smile on your face. Lighten Up!

Filed under: Inspiration, Self Discovery, Back in the Day, hope, Insight, Inspiration, life, positivity, Progress, Sharing, words

Delayed Gratification. Self Control. Most vital Ingredients for Success

Don’t Eat the Marshmallow, yet.

This is a short talk Dr Joachim De Posada gave at the 2009  TED U conference. He underscores the essence of delaying gratification and having self control, character traits which should be grained from an early stage in child development.

In fact, this character trait can be used to predict future success in a person.

Be edified:

Watch the talk, download the video (19.8MB, MP4) and join the discussion at the TED web site.

Learn, share and don’t you eat the marshmallow, yet.

Filed under: Self Discovery, choice, Growth, human nature, Insight, Learning, life, Self Discovery, TED Talks

SPECIAL: Reflecting on Just how Awesome We Are, and Our Place in this World

The following poem is a lovely reminder of just how awesome we are indeed.

Yeah, we are special.

Be edified:

SPECIAL

There is a special place in life that needs my humble skill
a certain job I’m meant to do, nobody else can fill
The hours are demanding and the pay is not too good
and yet I wouldn’t change it for a moment even if I could.

There is a special place in life, a goal I must attain
a dream that I must follow for I wont be back again
There’s a mark that I must leave however small it be
a legacy of love for those who follow after me.

There is a special place in life that only I may share
a little path that bears my name, awaiting me somewhere
There is a hand that I must hold, a word that I must say
a smile that I must give, for there are tears to blot away.

There is a special place in life that I was meant to fill
a sunny spot where flowers grow upon a windy hill
There’s always a tomorrow and the best is yet to be
and somewhere in this world I know:
That there’s a special place JUST FOR ME!

If you ever question your worth and place in this world, please be reminded that you are especially special. Much more than you can ever imagine.

Speaking of Our Place in this World, that is tomorrow’s post on Peter’s Walkabout, so be sure to watch this space.

Learn, share and never lose sight of your worth. You are priceless.

Filed under: Self Discovery, human condition, Insight, Inspiration, Learning, life, Self Discovery, truth, words

Who or What Determines, Shapes and Changes Our Character?

“We are each the authors of our own lives…
there is no way to shift the blame,
and no one else to accept the accolades.”
– Paul McGill (in A Woman of Substance)

Pathology

Late last year, I watched the movie Pathology. It is a sick thriller in which a group of residents studying pathology devise a lively game: to see which one of them can commit the perfect square murder.

In the movie, Teddy Grey graduates top of his class and joins one of the nation’s most prestigious Pathology programs. On joining a group of elite pathology interns, he begins to uncover secrets he never expected and finds that he has unknowingly become a pawn in their dangerous and secret after-hours game at the morgue of who can commit the perfect undetectable murder.

This is in line with his earlier assertion that human beings are inherently evil, that people are animals who can kill anyone.

Environmental Effects on Character

A fortnight before this, one of my favorite bloggers had written about change. Savvy‘s question was,

“Who says campus does not corrupt?”
She wrote, “Last year, I used to be up by five almost every morning. This year, I’d be lucky if I can drag myself out of bed before 7am. Obviously, I barely make it for early morning classes.

“Last year, I would have been shocked if I heard stories of students who (smoke) weed, have unprotected sex, get pregnant, abort, use morning after pills on a daily basis and not give a thought to HIV. This year, it doesn’t surprise me anymore.” [read more…]

Lost in Character

My favorite TV show LOST, explores this within its mythology. The character and beliefs of John Locke (English philosopher and thinker) are alluded to both in name and character by John Locke. John Locke believed that the mind was a “blank slate” or “tabula rasa“.

Essentially, Locke postulated and maintained that people are born without innate ideas – that human beings are born with no built-in mental content, in a word, “blank”, and that their entire resource of knowledge is built up gradually from their experiences and sensory perceptions of the outside world.

The Chicken, The Egg and Responsibility

Looking at another source of insight, Ngishili writes on The Chicken, the Egg, and Responsibility. It so happens that in a typical farm,

“each chicken has a specific character that distinguishes it from all the others in the farm. One of those chicken characteristics has to do with the ability to reproduce successfully. The farmer will tell you that some chicken exhibit much responsibility towards the task of parenting while others are extremely careless.” “As you can see, the story of responsibility is as old as the story of the chicken and the egg. Whether at your place of work, in personal relationships, in a family or even in a community, life favors always go to the most responsible person.”

In life however, we see that many people seek freedom while trying to avoid responsibility. This is wrong, since freedom is responsibility. When you’re free, you’re automatically responsible for your own future. And the things your freedom lets you do become a manifestation of your character.

Bottom Line

So who or what determines, shapes and even changes character? Is it those we interact with? Is it fate? Do we get to choose to be good or bad, or are we inherently evil?

Now it the time to take a good look at your friends, circumstances, environment and the company you keep. Carefully consider whatever influences you.
Once you identify who or what shapes your character, do the needful and effect the necessary changes.

Let us learn, share and progress together.

Filed under: Self Discovery, faith, Growth, human condition, human nature, Insight, John Locke, life, LOST, Self Discovery, Sharing

Communicate. Build Bridges. Interact with People

“Hope is the bridge that connects you to where you want to go
Faith assures you that the bridge will hold
Love gives you a reason to cross it.”

Looking back at the days I was in college, I realize that life at the time accorded us many luxuries we cannot have in adult life.

Consider communication and friends. How often do you wish that you had the time to see someone, attend social events, make courtesy calls, make amends, or meet new people? With limited free time and increasing responsibilities, we often find ourselves alone.

Those we eventually interact with are the people who are a part of our daily lives – our colleagues in the office, neighbors at the estate or the people we fellowship with every Sunday. Yet, we still yearn to communicate.

Having listened to the Gospel album “Bridges: Songs of Unity and Purpose”, about five years ago, I now realize how important it is to interact with like minded people and seek purpose in our unity. This album was released in July 1999. Its deep and inspired message however still lingers on. Get more details of this great collaborative music on eBay. This is music worth listening to.

BRIDGES

Some people believe bridges are designed to span chasms and to make possible passage over the impossible. They do span chasms, but more importantly, they encourage communication, making what is inaccessible accessible and what is foreign familiar.

Steel, concrete and wood are materials for bridge building of one kind. But introduction, familiarity and co-operation are building blocks for the human bridge.

Make familiar the foreign and encourage communication.

Remember if I were you and you were me, and if I am not afraid to touch your hand, you will reach for mine, we can stand together, stay together and even soar together as the raven and the dove.

And where there is desire, prayer and belief, all things are possible.

– PAUL WRIGHT (The Album ‘Bridges’ by various Gospel artists)

Now, go out there and start communicating. You may be surprised to find that those you need to communicate and bridge gaps with the most are the ones closest to you.
Communicate, and share the above words with your friends. You now believe and are inspired. Then do something about it.

Let us learn, share and grow together, in unity and purpose.

Filed under: Self Discovery, Back in the Day, human condition, human nature, Insight, Inspiration, Learning, selflessness, Sharing

Objectivity, Self Righteousness and exiting The Moral Matrix: Jonathan Haidt's TED Talk

TED Talks

I have lately been on a TED Talks binge, both on Peter’s Walkabout and on Green Kenya. I cannot seem to get enough of these talks. They truly are ideas worth sharing. So, today I present one of my top favorite TED Talks.

Jonathan Haidt

On 20th March, I wrote about Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, after watching him on TED.

In this TED Talk, Jonathan Haidt talks about ideology and openness to experience. He discusses moral psychology, and outlines the moral roots of, and major differences between liberals and conservatives.

Watch the talk, read comments and download the video on the TED web site.

Key highlights:

• People who are higher on openness to experience just crave novelty, variety, diversity, new ideas, travel.
  People low on it like things that are familiar, that are safe and dependable.

• “Open individuals have an affinity for liberal, progressive, left-wing political views, whereas closed inviduals prefer conservative, traditional, right wing views”
  – McCrae

• When people all share values, when people all share morals, they become a team, and once you engage the psychology of teams, it shuts down open minded thinking.

• The first draft of the moral mind.
  “The initial organization of the brain does not rely that much on experience… Nature provides a first draft, which experience then revises… ‘Built in’ does not mean unmalleable; it means organized in advance of experience.”
  – Marcus

• The Five Foundations of Morality
  1. Harm/Care
  2. Fairness/Reciprocity
  3. Ingroup/Loyalty
  4. Authority/Respect
  5. Purity/Sanctity

• The truth of social entropy is that “Order tends to decay.”

• Traditional authority and morality can be quite repressive and restrictive to those at the bottom, to women and to people that don’t fit in.

• Liberals speak for the weak and oppressed; they want change and justice, even at the risk of chaos.

• Conservatives speak for institutions and traditions; want order even if at cost to those at the bottom.

• “The restraints onmen, as well as their liberties, are to be reckoned among their rights”
  – Edmund Burke

• “If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against.
  The struggle between “for” and “against” is the mind’s worst disease.”
  – Sent-ts’an

• Our Righteous Minds were designed to…
  1. unite us into teams
  2. divide us against other teams
  3. blind us to the truth

Let us learn, share and purpose to be objective, by cultivating moral humility, acknowledging and respecting the differing opinions of others.

Filed under: Self Discovery, choice, human condition, human nature, Insight, life, Progress, Self Discovery, TED Talks

Overcoming Fear and Rediscovering our Inner Potential

“Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fear is one of the greatest hindrances to achievement and progress. The fact that you fear somebody, some consequencies or situations prevents you from taking action. Fear results in missed opportunities and untold regret. Fear is a great demotivator. Fear heralds failure.

Great ideas do not amount to anything if they are not acted upon. The main reason people take no action on their thoughts and ideas is fear. Fear clouds our judgment. Fear diminishes capacity. Fear can make you feel lonely and miserable.

A very surprising thing about fear is that many are overwhelmed by a crippling fear of the unknown. In this case, a person is afraid of things they have not yet experienced. They are afraid of what might just happen – whether they do something or they don’t. Days, weeks, even months pass by before doing anything with their lives.

In her book ‘A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”‘, Marianne Williamson wrote some wonderful words on our deepest fear. These words have changed the lives of thousands, if not millions.

Be edified:

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

– Marianne Williamson in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

From now on, take a step of faith to overcome your fear. Stop staring at the steps. Instead, step up the stairs. Purpose to live without fear.

Let us learn, share and overcome fear.

Filed under: Self Discovery, determination, hope, Inspiration, life, media, positivity, Self Discovery, words

Giving the Best We Have – 'Life's Mirror' by Madeline Bridges

Over a decade ago, I stumbled upon the first stanza of the following poem by Madeline Bridges. She is the Associate Dean for Academic Studies and Professor of Music Education in the School of Music at Belmont University.

That alone changed my life. It has been a principal source of motivation as I continually seek to do good in my life. To do unto others what I’d like them do unto me. To live and let live.

Following is the entire poem. Be edified:

LIFE’S MIRROR

There are loyal hearts, there are spirits brave,
There are souls that are pure and true,
Then give to the world the best you have,
And the best will come back to you.

Give love, and love to your life will flow,
A strength in your utmost need,
Have faith, and a score of hearts will show
Their faith in your word and deed.

Give truth, and your gift will be paid in kind;
And honor will honor meet;
And a smile that is sweet will surely find
A smile that is just as sweet.

Give pity and sorrow to those who mourn,
You will gather in flowers again
The scattered seeds from your thoughts outborne
Though the sowing seemed but vain.

For life is the mirror of king and slave,
‘Tis just what we are and do;
Then give to the world the best you have,
And the best will come back to you.

– Madeline Bridges

The above poem says it all. Honestly, there’s nothing to add to Madeline’s words.

Let us learn, share and purpose to always give the best.

Filed under: Self Discovery, Add new tag, choice, human condition, human nature, Insight, life, Self Discovery, selflessness, Sharing, truth, words

Belief System: Challenging Convention, Convictions and stepping out of the moral high-ground

Belief System and Convictions
On Thursday, I read a blog post by Jamaapoa on the Foundation of a Belief System. Jamaapoa is currently on a pilgrimage of rejuvenation, self-motivation and self-improvement.

Jamaapoa writes that a belief system is “what you stand for, what guides you and what forms a basis for your values in life.” Something I also believe.

Self Discovery

Exit the Comfort Zone
He goes on to write that prior to embarking on a journey of self-improvement, or in my case, a walkabout of insight, inspiration and self discovery, one has to first discard whatever they once believed in, ready for the new. And we all agree this is particularly hard to do. Challenging long-held beliefs and convictions never comes on the cheap. The mind is such a difficult thing to deal with.

That reminded me of what Alan Alda said, that on a self-discovery mission,

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”

Stepping outside the Moral Matrix
In his talk at TED Global, Jonathan Haidt outlined openness to experience as a requisite trait for objectivity. At one point, he quoted Sent-ts’an,

“If you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between ‘for’ and ‘against’ is the mind’s worst disease.”

In sum, it helps to sometimes step out of the moral matrix, to step out of the battle of evil and good, and be not for or against anything.

Everybody thinks they are right, however. You may not believe this, but our “righteous minds” were designed to unite us into teams, divide us against other teams and blind us to the truth.
Methinks, this is what prompted some (unknown) author to write,

“If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions.”

Why do you Believe?
Few of us have dared question our faith (here, I deliberately avoid the word religion).
One of my friends keeps saying that the reason he is a christian is because his fore-fathers (somewhere near Mt Kenya) were influenced by the British missionaries to adopt the christian faith. Had he been at the Coast, he continues, he would have ended up being a muslim.

After meticulously questioning my own faith, I have finally come to settle on the one I subscribe to, with solid reasons to support my claims and my conviction. Have you?
This post is not a discussion of what faiths and religious beliefs are worth  subscribing to. They do however, form the basis of our value system, and are therefore worth getting right. Otherwise, one would continue to live a lie, guided by a firmly held fallacy.

Getting back on track
In his book The Prince, Niccolo Machiavelli writes,

“he that lays not the foundations first, might be able with great difficulty to lay them afterward, however it’ll be with great trouble to the architect and danger to the building.”

Yet, it is possible to get it right. That is the essence of hope and positivity. You get it right when you first understand who you are. That way, you are able to find your place in this world.

Then, you can make your own life a revelation, realize your potential and and turn your days into a spiritual quest. Learn to make the most of every moment and find the power and peace waiting within this oh-so-wonderful you.

The Challenge
Upon realizing that we think we are always right, it becomes possible to step outside these unquestioningly firmly-held beliefs and watch things play out from without. One then acknowledges and appreciates that everyone has some reasons why they think they are right.

At this point, one gains moral humility. But only when one steps out of the blinding self righteousness, which by default, is the normal human condition.

So, take the bold step and seek to see things for what they really are. Without bias. Without prejudice. With no prior unquestioned beliefs. Without being ‘for’ or ‘against’. Objectively.
Guided by your own intuition and informed by a mind that is open to experience, you will discover something wonderful. What you will discover  is yourself.

Filed under: Self Discovery, conviction, faith, Growth, hope, human condition, human nature, Insight, positivity, Self Discovery, TED Talks, the bigger picture