Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

IDEAS WORTH SHARING
Every once in a while, we all experience something so wonderful that it becomes really hard not to share.

Well, for a while, I have been reading a most wonderful document. Yeah, it is really short (only 23 pages). It’s quite a deep piece, trust you me.

It is a report by Foundation for Entrepreneurial Excellence. A note titled Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

INTRODUCTION

This note is designed to help you rise above your instincts and urges to begin a search for the life you were meant to live. Once you have abandoned a foolish quest for the ephemeral rewards of happiness, wealth and power, you can begin to look for your true calling on this earth – a Hero’s Journey. To do this, you must first learn to lose yourself.

CONTENTS
The following are discussed:

• Understanding the Difference between Happiness, Satisfaction and Fulfillment
• Pursuing Sensual Pleasures and Material Success for the Wrong Reasons
• A Twisted Sense of Perspective: Misjudging the Present’s Impact on the Future
• Sliding From Self Interest to Self Centeredness to Self Delusion
• Losing Yourself in a Hero’s Journey
• Spirituality: Losing Yourself Through a Connection with the Transcendental
• Getting Started on Your Quest

A little deeper into the note, you find the following piece, that underscores our need for others.

Love: Losing Yourself in Relationship

Long-term studies of satisfaction and fulfillment show that relationships are critical to satisfaction and fulfillment. We live in relationship with others and we need to belong. We need others to complete us.

People who place a high priority in caring for others have more fulfilling lives. “There are few stronger predictors of happiness than a close, nurturing, equitable, intimate and lifelong companionship with one’s best friend.” Long-term studies on aging show that a lack of true friends would be one’s biggest crisis later in life. People get depressed when they are alone too long. They revive when with others.

Much of your long-term satisfaction and fulfillment will come from a relatively small group of family members and friends with whom we create the memories of a lifetime. Developing such relationships takes time, energy and courage.
You start with small steps. Beginning a relationship simply requires a little curiosity about others. Relationships grow by give and take. You ask about the other person’s goals, affirm them, and offer to help in some way. (Starting with people who have compatible goals makes it easier to invest attention).

Then something magical happens. You actually become more interested in others than yourself. You forget your own problems. Horizons open. Perspective broadens.

Favors, attention and self disclosure lead to trust. Obligations and constraints add more structure and meaning to life. You learn that giving is more satisfying than getting. Over time, a web of healthy relationships blossoms into a support system. Then you develop a reputation for helping others, a fragile treasure. Extraordinary opportunities follow.

Consciously choosing who to invest in relationships with makes a difference. Want to be a better person? Surround yourself with good people. Close friends have the most positive effect on fulfillment (families have only an average effect). Develop relationships with all ages. Always have friends from three generations: the generation below to add freshness and energy, your generation for understanding and companionship, and a generation older for perspective and wisdom.

SHARING
Download this report in full (23 pages, PDF 170KB) here.
I very strongly believe in learning and sharing useful information. This report is highly recommended.

Learn, share and achieve true Happiness, Satisfaction and Fulfillment in life.

Filed under: Self Discovery, choice, human nature, Insight, Learning, life, Progress, Self Discovery, Sharing, the bigger picture

Critical Thinking: Tools For Taking Charge Of Your Professional And Personal Life

Critical Thinking is a vital part of development and cognition. Every action is predicated on one’s thought process, it’s therefore imperative that the thinking itself be healthy and forward-looking.

Critical Thinking: Tools For Taking Charge Of Your Professional And Personal Life, was published in 2002 by the Financial Times Prentice Hall. It’s written by Richard Paul and Linda Elder.

At CriticalThinking.org, this book is introduced thus:

You are what you think…
Everything you do in life is determined by the quality of your thinking. If you aren’t thinking clearly, you’re at the mercy of everyone else-from dishonest politicians to aggressive, stop-at-nothing ad agencies. Unfortunately, many people never give any thought to how they think. No wonder they’re susceptible to the frustration, pain, ineffectiveness, and financial loss that result directly from poorly considered thinking. Critical Thinking is about becoming a better thinker in every aspect of your life-as a professional, as a consumer, citizen, friend, parent, and even as a lover.

This book explores the six stages of thinking, and challenges readers to find out what kind of thinker they are. These are:

• Stage 1 The Unreflective Thinker (we are unaware of significant problems in our thinking)
• Stage 2 The Challenged Thinker (we become aware of problems in our thinking)
• Stage 3 The Beginning Thinker (we try to improve, but without regular practice)
• Stage 4 The Practicing Thinker (we recognize the necessity of regular practice)
• Stage 5 The Advanced Thinker (we advance in accordance with our practice)
• Stage 6 The Master Thinker (skilled and insightful thinking becomes second nature)

CONTENTS

Acknowledgment Preface
Ch. 1:    Thinking in a World of Accelerating Change and Intensifying Danger
Ch. 2:    Becoming a Critic of Your Thinking
Ch. 3:    Becoming a Fair-Minded Thinker
Ch. 4:    Self-Understanding
Ch. 5:    The First Four Stages of Development: What Level Thinker are You?
Ch. 6:    The Parts of Thinking
Ch. 7:    The Standards for Thinking
Ch. 8:    Design Your Life
Ch. 9:    The Art of Making Intelligent Decisions
Ch. 10: Taking Charge of Your Irrational Tendencies
Ch. 11:  Monitoring Your Sociocentric Tendencies
Ch. 12:  Developing as an Ethical Reasoner
Ch. 13:  Analyzing and Evaluating Thinking in Corporate and Organizational Life
Ch. 14:  The Power and Limits of Professional Knowledge (And of the Disciplines that Underlie Them)
Ch. 15:  Strategic Thinking Part One
Ch. 16:  Strategic Thinking Part Two
Glossary: A Guide to Critical Thinking Terms and Concepts References

This book is high recommended for anyone who wishes to become better in both their personal and professional lives. It helps you exercise more informed and effective thinking. This will definitely improve your life.

Learn, share and think more critically.

Filed under: Books Worth Reading, choice, eBooks, Growth, human condition, human nature, Insight, Inspirational books, Learning, life, positivity, Progress, Self Discovery, words

Lost in translation . . .

Guest post by PinkM

Well, Pete honored me by asking me to guest post on here. No idea what wisdom is expected, but I’ll do my best to be me.

A couple of days ago, I did this post on giving and uplifting others in all I do, and a couple of comments prompted this post.

See, we have the tendency to use English translations in relationships, and from my observation, they don’t always hold true. For example:

Giving / Receiving – According to the dictionary definition, these two are opposites right? Well, in relationships, they’re not. People have the tendency to believe that one has to be a giver or a receiver; you cannot be a perennial giver, and a receiver. If one is building themselves into being a giver, it’s taken to mean that that person will not receive. That’s not true.
The opposite of giving is not giving. The opposite of receiving is not receiving.

My saying I want to be ever generous means, I want to move from the position of not giving (all the time), to giving (all the time). Receiving comes in another context. Basically, giving and receiving IMO are not mutually exclusive.

Making Others Shine – Again, the opposite of this isn’t dimming my light. It just means that external approval will cease to be so important to me, and instead, I’ll channel that light onto someone who need it more to build their confidence.
Case in point. You have an important project to deliver, but instead of working on it and taking all the glory (which will mean less time, and more efficiency for the company), you help your junior do the work, and let him take the glory.

IMO, in that case, I haven’t dimmed my light one bit. See, I know I can do it and do it well, but the person beside me needs to learn. He needs to build his confidence in whatever task. He’s still growing.
Letting those beside you take the glory is a sign of growth and security in who you are, and as such, outside affirmation doesn’t mean that much (nose in the air self righteousness)

Character vs Personality – I was watching this episode of Desperate  Housewives that they talk about why you should probably love the rude neighbor who will speak their mind, and not trust so much, the polite neighbor, who has nothing but kind words for you, and nothing else (this was in reference to Susan, the rude neighbor and Orson, the ever so polite guy, who was stealing from everyone).

I get this feeling that society is emphasizing so much on people developing perfect personalities, without advocating for fundamental character issues.
We’re taught to say the right thing, the right words and everything to keep the peace.

As long as you’re ‘correct’ you’re accepted. Something is fundamentally wrong with that. Let us work on character development and sincerity, and at the end of the day, we’ll be a better people.

Filed under: Insight, choice, Growth, human nature, Insight, Learning, life, media, Self Discovery, selflessness, Sharing, truth

The Unexpected Changes Our Lives

“The expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still
The expected is just the beginning
The unexpected is what changes our lives.”
– Meredith Grey (in Grey’s Anatomy Season 3 Episode 13)

Have you ever had very great expectations, only to have them nipped in the bud at the eleventh hour? Have you ever had something you highly valued and looked forward to taken away right before your eyes?

Well, it happened to me in October 2008 and I now proceed to share the invaluable lesson I learnt and the insight acquired from that experience.

October 3, 2008 wasn’t a good day for me at all. I was quite disappointed upon receiving information that something I had been looking forward to all of September would actually not materialize. For a moment, I felt like someone gave me a ‘Shattered Dreams’ low blow kick like Goldust used to do in the WWE.

Coincidentally, I had watched “Great Expectations”, the 13th episode in the 3rd season of Grey’s Anatomy, just a week before this incident. Whereas I am not that bad at accepting reality and moving on, I found it difficult to embrace the fact that the other party in the aforementioned situation had not bothered to inform me of the change in plans before the due date. Clearly, courtesy was wanting here, but c’est la vie, that’s life.

Thinking of the effect many ‘great expectations’ do have in our lives, I now realize that these expectations can sometimes hold us back and therefore limit our ability to expand our horizons.

We so badly cling to these ‘great’ expectations that we are blinded from other opportunities that lie ahead of us. To make matters worse, these expectations do cloud our judgment and hamper our ability to face challenges.

The worst that can happen when we just focus on getting what we already expect is that we become myopic and overlook the long term.

Once again, I found a possible solution to problems occasioned by unmet ‘great expectations’ in Grey’s Anatomy. (If you still haven’t watched this show, I strongly recommend that you do. It is funny, and full of wisdom).

Consider the following:

GREAT EXPECTATIONS
Words by Meredith Grey

No one believes their life will turn out just ‘kind of okay’
We all think we’re going to be great
And from the day we decide to (be surgeons)
We are filled, with expectation…
Expectations of the trails we will blaze
The people we will help
The difference we will make
Great expectations of who we will be
Where we will go
And then… we get there.

We all think we’re going to be great
And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met
But sometimes, our expectations sell us short
Sometimes, the expected simply pales in comparison, to the unexpected
You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations
Because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still
The expected is just the beginning
The unexpected is what changes our lives.

– Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy Season 3 Episode 13)

You can watch the entire ‘Great Expectations’ episode here.

In life, you’ve got to expect the unexpected. Do not be limited by the familiar. Broaden your view. Cover new ground.

Learn, share and purpose to free yourself from the old, familiar, and ‘well known’ expectations.

Filed under: Insight, choice, Growth, human nature, Insight, Inspiration, Learning, life, positivity, Progress

The End of Something. The Beginning, of Everything

“It was the end of something.
It was the beginning, of everything.”
-Nokia N Series (The Fourth Screen) TV ad

I once read somewhere that every sundown is a challenge. It marks the end of yet another day. The end of something.

Unfortunately, that is all we see sometimes. We fail to realize that the end of any day paves the way for a brand new day, a new beginning.

Endings are necessary for beginnings to make any sense. The good news is that the end of something can actually be the beginning of everything.

This is because any new beginning can be predicated on what just ended. The lesson has already been learnt. The mistakes can now be avoided. Improvement is now inevitable. Growth and progress is only natural.

Armed with knowledge gained from experience, we can now do all that is required to get to the finish line. We can even go the extra mile. We can go the distance to realize our goals.

Following is the Nokia 4th Screen TV advert video. Be edified:

From now on, purpose to acknowledge that many endings signify brand new beginnings. That the old must pave way for the new. That each sunset heralds a new day. A new beginning. The beginning, of everything.
Now do the needful.

Learn, share, and realize that your best days are ahead of you. It’s time to move on.

Filed under: Insight, choice, determination, Growth, Insight, Learning, life, Progress

Delayed Gratification. Self Control. Most vital Ingredients for Success

Don’t Eat the Marshmallow, yet.

This is a short talk Dr Joachim De Posada gave at the 2009  TED U conference. He underscores the essence of delaying gratification and having self control, character traits which should be grained from an early stage in child development.

In fact, this character trait can be used to predict future success in a person.

Be edified:

Watch the talk, download the video (19.8MB, MP4) and join the discussion at the TED web site.

Learn, share and don’t you eat the marshmallow, yet.

Filed under: Self Discovery, choice, Growth, human nature, Insight, Learning, life, Self Discovery, TED Talks

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.
– Sidney and Suzanne Simon (WisdomQuotes.com)

Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. But who gets to forgive who?

In some contexts, forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of compensation, and without any response on the part of the offender. In practical terms however, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology, and/or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe they are able to forgive.

To better understand forgiveness, consider the following:

• Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple.
• Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim.
• The greatest misconception about forgiveness is the belief that forgiving the offense, such as an affair, means that you condone it. Not true. In fact, we can only forgive what we know to be wrong. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconcile with someone who badly treated you.
• Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.
• When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you have never forgiven. . . owns you!Forgiving someone else is to agree within yourself to overlook the wrong they have committed against you and to move on with your life. It’s the only way. It means cutting them some slack.
• Forgiveness is a creative act that changes us from prisoners of the past to liberated people at peace with our memories. It is not forgetfulness, but it involves accepting the promise that the future can be more than dwelling on memories of past injury.

Ponder the following about forgiveness:

FORGIVENESS
by Reinhold Neibuhr

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.

Has anyone wronged you lately? Now is the time to free yourself by forgiving them.

This week, be reminded of what Confucius said.

“The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself.”

Learn, share and experience the power of forgiveness.

Filed under: Insight, Growth, Learning, life, Progress, Self Discovery, the bigger picture, truth

Until My Change Comes… I'll wait, Renew my Strength and Keep Holding On

The first episode of the fourth season of Grey’s Anatomy is titled ‘A Change is Gonna Come’. Following is an excerpt of the episode transcript:

“In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable. New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase.
Innovation is everything. Nothing remains the same for long. We either adapt to change…or we get left behind……..”

The above words got me thinking.
Yeah, it’s true that we get inspired and hopeful whenever we envision change. We even get motivated when we encounter new people and situations that effect change and thereby enhance our lives.

But what about that transition period? That period of waiting as change happens? What keeps us going at the time?

I found my answer in a song I first listened to ten years ago – ‘Until My Change Comes’ by Commissioned. It’s from the album ‘Times and Seasons’, which was released in the year 2000.

Consider the following:

UNTIL MY CHANGE COMES
By Commissioned

It’s been a long time coming
But a change is gonna come
When the dark clouds pass away
Feel the warmness of the sun
I know that You love me, oh yeah,
I know that you care
I can’t wait to be by Your side
In the middle of the air.

CHORUS
Until my change comes
Here’s what I’ll do
Renew my strength
Keep holding on
I’ll wait on You.

(REPEAT)

It ain’t gonna be easy
But I’ll be strong. Some say if You
Really cared um,
It’s wouldn’t take so long for You to
Return for me
If with You is where I ought to be
But I’m gonna believe until that day
I will…. until…

CHORUS

BRIDGE

Gotta wait gotta wait on you
That’s what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna stand still
I just wanna be in your will
Just like David and Goliath
I gotta encourage my soul, yeah
Said I’m gonna stand still
Until um…

CHORUS * CHORUS * CHORUS

The above lyrics and artist names are copyrighted to Commissioned. They appear  here for educational and personal use only.

So back to the Grey’s Anatomy transcript…

“Change. we don’t like it, we fear it.
But we can’t stop it from coming.
We either adapt to change, or we get left behind.
It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying.
But here’s the truth. sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same.
And sometimes…oh, sometimes change is good.
Sometimes change is…everything.”

Learn, share and be an agent of positive change. Both in your life and those of others.

Filed under: Insight, choice, determination, Growth, human nature, Learning, lyrical insight, media, music, Progress, Self Discovery, the bigger picture, words

SPECIAL: Reflecting on Just how Awesome We Are, and Our Place in this World

The following poem is a lovely reminder of just how awesome we are indeed.

Yeah, we are special.

Be edified:

SPECIAL

There is a special place in life that needs my humble skill
a certain job I’m meant to do, nobody else can fill
The hours are demanding and the pay is not too good
and yet I wouldn’t change it for a moment even if I could.

There is a special place in life, a goal I must attain
a dream that I must follow for I wont be back again
There’s a mark that I must leave however small it be
a legacy of love for those who follow after me.

There is a special place in life that only I may share
a little path that bears my name, awaiting me somewhere
There is a hand that I must hold, a word that I must say
a smile that I must give, for there are tears to blot away.

There is a special place in life that I was meant to fill
a sunny spot where flowers grow upon a windy hill
There’s always a tomorrow and the best is yet to be
and somewhere in this world I know:
That there’s a special place JUST FOR ME!

If you ever question your worth and place in this world, please be reminded that you are especially special. Much more than you can ever imagine.

Speaking of Our Place in this World, that is tomorrow’s post on Peter’s Walkabout, so be sure to watch this space.

Learn, share and never lose sight of your worth. You are priceless.

Filed under: Self Discovery, human condition, Insight, Inspiration, Learning, life, Self Discovery, truth, words

What Do You Want to do With Your Life? by Hans Glint

Recently, I downloaded ‘What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?’ by Hans Glint.
This eBook is supposedly a “Life Plan to find Your Answer”.

In the Preface:

“Why do they always tell us that it’s easy and evil to do what we want, and that we need discipline to restrain ourselves? It’s the hardest thing in the world – to do what we want. And it takes the greatest kind of courage. I mean, what we really want.”
– Ayn Rand

Many people spend more time planning their summer holiday than planning the rest of their life. No wonder the same people feel they do not live fulfilled lives. However, you are different. You are on your way to break away from the crowd; you are on your way to plan ahead and achieve the life of your dreams.

With imagination and action, you will create the life of your dreams.

Chapters:

1. Introduction to Life Planning
2. Your Past
3. The Influence Of Generations
4. Your Present
5. Your Future
6. Your Alternatives
7. Making The Decision

Download Free eBook

You can download the eBook free at the book official site (PDF 606KB).

Let us learn, share and have a purpose -driven, planned life.

Filed under: Books Worth Reading, choice, determination, eBooks, Inspirational books, Learning, life, positivity, Progress, Self Discovery, truth, words